For many people, collecting letters of recommendation is the hardest part of applying to grad school. It can be awkward enough asking someone to serve as a job reference, but asking them to write about your strengths and achievements is another thing entirely—especially if you haven’t been in contact for a number of years.

But the reality is, most people are happy to write a recommendation letter. The important thing is choosing the right person to ask, and giving them the information they need to craft an effective letter. Here’s everything you need to know about sourcing letters of recommendation for graduate school.

1. Who to Ask

The best people to ask for a recommendation letter are former or current supervisors, professors or anyone else who can speak to your talents, personality and knowledge. You might also ask a coach, mentor or academic advisor.

Focus on asking professors who had small class sizes, as they’re more likely to remember you than professors with 300 students in a class. If you’re stuck on whom to ask, start by making a list of professionals you’ve had positive interactions with. Write down anyone who comes to mind. If you have friends who have gone to graduate school, ask whom they used to write their letters. That may spark some ideas.

Ideally, the person writing the recommendation letter should know you well. A letter written by someone who’s known you for several years will likely be more impactful than one authored by someone who’s only known you for a few months.

While you would ideally ask someone in a position of authority to write your recommendation letter, it’s usually better to choose someone who knows you well over someone with an impressive title. For example, your direct supervisor at work is likely a better choice than the CEO who you’ve only talked to at the company holiday party.

The same principle applies to professors. A professor who’s the head of the department sounds like a great choice to write a recommendation letter, but if they don’t remember you well from class, then the letter won’t carry much weight.

2. How to Ask

Once you’ve decided whom to ask for a recommendation letter, you should decide how to approach them. If the person in question is someone you interact with daily, then asking in person or with a phone or video call may be appropriate. For someone you see less frequently, a detailed email should suffice. Avoid texting; it can come across as unprofessional.

Whether you’re asking in person or via email, start the conversation by telling the person that you’re applying to graduate school and would be grateful if they could write you a recommendation letter. Explain why you’ve chosen them to write it and that you would be honored for their recommendation. It’s also polite to give the writer an easy out; if it’s a busy time for them or they don’t feel they know you well enough to write a letter, they can gracefully decline.

In your request, tell the writer when the deadline is and how long the recommendation letter should be, as well as any specific submission requirements. You should give them at least one month’s notice, but more time may be appropriate during busy seasons, such as the holidays or end of the semester. In general, it’s best to always give as much notice as possible—you might even build in a cushion and give the writer a deadline that’s a week before you actually need the document.

When you ask someone for a letter, gauge his or her response. Do they sound busy, stressed or hesitant? Sometimes people will agree to write a recommendation letter even if they don’t know you well enough. If you’re picking up this kind of attitude, it may be a good idea to ask someone else. A lukewarm recommendation letter might hurt your chances of getting into grad school.

Most graduate school programs will list how many recommendation letters you need, usually two or three. If the program doesn’t provide a specific number, try to include three letters with your application.

3. What Information Should I Give the Letter-writer?

If the person agrees to write a recommendation letter, provide them with an updated copy of your resume. This should list your employment history, undergraduate background and any relevant skills. Most graduate school applications require a resume anyway, so think of this as killing two birds with one stone.

If you have to write a personal essay to be admitted to graduate school, it may be helpful to include it with your email so the letter-writer knows why you’re applying to that particular program. Even if the essay is still a rough draft, it can provide more context for the writer.

Additionally, send over any other supporting documentation, such as your college transcripts, relevant courses you’ve taken, a list of schools and programs to which you’re applying, and any awards or notable achievements that are relevant to your desired course of study.

If you’re switching careers or applying for a degree not related to your undergraduate work, then explain your reasons to the letter-writer and list any relevant skills or experience that still apply. This will help the letter-writer craft a recommendation that focuses on why you’re making a change and how your expertise will transfer over.

4. What Should a Good Recommendation Letter Include?

In a well-received recommendation letter, the writer should first mention how they know you. The letter should include what the person has seen from you and how it directly correlates to the career you’re pursuing.

The more specific the anecdote, the better. For example, if you’re applying for a master’s degree in education, the writer could talk about how you’re skilled at explaining unfamiliar concepts to others and cite specific examples that illustrate this.

On average, recommendation letters should fall between 300 and 400 words. If you receive a recommendation letter that contains significantly fewer words, you may want to consider not using it. A short recommendation letter can actually hurt your application, as it looks like the writer doesn’t know you very well

5. Don’t Forget to Follow Up

No matter who you ask to write the recommendation letter, they are likely busy and may forget your deadline. If they’ve agreed to write a letter but you haven’t heard from them in a while, remind them about the letter a week or two before the due date. This gives them enough time to finish the letter without rushing.

Be polite and respectful in your follow-up correspondence. Remember, the letter-writer is doing you a favor and is not obligated to write you a letter.

Once the recommendation letter has been completed, write a hand-written thank you note expressing your gratitude. If you’re accepted into the program, remember to let your letter-writer know. Thank them again for their contribution and express how grateful you are that they took the time to write you a letter.

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